Dating Trap: The Stickiness of a One-Night-Stand

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one night stand

One night, you went to the bar with a friend. You met a beautiful woman, hit it off right away, and you went home with her. You don’t need to make excuses or disguise it as something more meaningful. One-night-stands can be very fun, casual flings. If done correctly, you will think back on it fondly. However, there are certain sticky situations which can be brought about by such a rendezvous.

Do I sleep over?

Unfortunately, this is up to her, if it is her house in which you have found yourself romping. After the sex is over, pay close attention to her body language. Does she become standoffish or stop talking to you? That is a clear sign that she has had her fun and now wants you out. Put on your clothes, pick up your dignity from off the floor, and call a cab. However, if she is cuddly, playful, or chatty, she wants you to stay longer.

How do I get her out?

Let’s say you wind up at your place instead. If you are a gentleman, you will invite her to spend the night. If she refuses or if she stays, either way, you should offer to call her a cab or to drive her home right then or in the morning.

I don’t want to see her again.

Fortunately for you, this behavior is pretty much assumed from the start. If she asks afterward if she can see you again, you have two options: the truth and the lie. The truth will likely get you slapped, as you have just had your way with her and now she feels deceived. The lie (while I generally don’t condone lying) may be the better short-term option. “Yeah, definitely. We’ll go out soon,” then change the subject. If you can leave quickly without giving her your number, you will be in the clear. However, if she gets it and calls you later, now is the time to be honest and say, “I’m not really interested in a relationship right now.”

I do want to see her again.

Before she leaves (or you leave, as the case may be), ask her if you can see her again. Naturally, she will say yes so as to avoid an awkward situation (see above). Ask for her number, tell her how great she is, and how you can’t wait to see her again. However, be prepared for the cold shoulder, in the event that she just wanted a meaningless tryst.

What if I see her again unexpectedly?

This will undoubtedly happen if you frequent the same bar. How you react depends on how your one-night-stand went. If it was wonderful and amazing and worthy of telling your grandchildren about someday (although you won’t, of course), go and talk to her. Maybe you can make it a two-night-stand. But if it went badly or you said you would call and didn’t, well, the only thing to do is to run.

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