You need to have javascript enabled in order to access this site.

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m afraid.

I’m afraid that vehicle property damage is going to increase by at least 8 percent in the next few months.

But there is some good news about this.

I just saved 15 percent by switching my car insurance to Geico. And the funny part is that it’s completely true. I called Geico and they cut my car insurance down by over $100 bucks.

So Jazmine, if you and your insane fem mob decide to bust the windows in my car…

…I’m covered, b*tch. I’m covered.

However, let’s discuss this a little bit, mmkay? Why in the hell do women think its okay to f*ck up a man’s car? Yes, some men do this but its largely considered to be a woman’s phenomenon, kind of like Black people and chitterlings. Yet here we go with Jazmine Sullivan talking about busting the windows of her man’s car because she saw him cheating.

Okay, dudes a d-bag. That’s true. Break up with him. Call the game. Forfeit the love. Unfortunately, she can’t do that. She must get revenge. She throws on some Blu Cantrell “Hit ‘Em Up Style” and decides that writing her name (hello EVIDENCE DUMBARSE) in the hood of his car with a crowbar is a good idea.

Read Also

Why Men Are “Better” At Friendship Than Women Are

Can Harris Save Marriage the Economy AND DIVORCE?

The Truth About Hooking Up on the First Date

Signs You Might Be Dating a Heartbreaker

Signs He Might Not Be as Straight as You Think

The Ultimate Guide to Unstoppable Confidence

The Hidden Marketing of Relationships

Why Men Can't Handle Being Cheated On

And oh yeah she busts the window of his car. Look, I jokingly reference the insanity of women on nearly a daily basis when I write. It’s a well documented fact that a lot of women are, indeed, off their proverbial rockers.

But you know who’s really crazy?

Like, really, really?

A Black man who’s had his sh*t unnecessarily f*cked the f*ck up. Oh yeah, that ninja is insane. In life, what every Black woman should want, apart from a man with a good job, good credit, etc., and above all else is a man who is afraid of jail.

Ladies, take this one to the bank, if you meet a man who is honestly not afraid of doing a bid in jail…leave him. Immediately. As in, end the date.

Now let’s say you do manage to date a man who is afraid of jail when you meet him and while you’re dating. Dude realizes he has something to lose in life. But we all have our breaking points. That’s word.life.
In the song she gets her jollies by imagining what dude’s gonna say when he sees his car. In her mind, he’ll be pissed, upset, and ultimately realize the error of his ways. And you know what, 2 out of 3 really ain’t bad.

However, that last one, is soooooooo not happening. Especially not while he’s on the way to find you while his homeboy TRIES to convince him to calm down and not do anything crazy. See, there really is nothing good to come of ruining his car. Nobody wins there.

The fact is that generally speaking, you still want him anyway. You just want other people to think that you don’t so you can look strong. It’s why songs like this and Beyonce’s song “Single Ladies” are such crocks of sh*t. For 98 percent of women, hope springs eternal. Despite all the wrong that’s been done you, there is still that glint of hope that the man will “come to his senses” and realize what he has/had and make the best decision he can make…

…to be with the woman who just busted the windows of his car.

That’s why I love women. No matter how much most men put them through, they still want the man they put so much time into so they don’t have to start over. But you can’t have him. He’s on the way to make you dead for busting the windows of his car. You wanted him to feel some emotion…

…now you got some. And you better HOPE that dudes comes to his senses and wants to see Obama get elected while he’s on the way to find you.

And by the way, you could ALWAYS just leave him.

Bottom line: Don’t be like Jazmine Sullivan. Listen to me b/c if you mess up my car…

…I shall try to run you over with my Hemi.

Goodnight and good luck.

(By the way, I don’t really think any women will get effed the eff up behind doing this, I just think songs like this are retarded beyond belief. Thank you.)