“You are entitled to your opinions; you are not entitled to your own facts.”
-Daniel Patrick Moynihan
Good morning Ms. Cooper,
When I wrote my post, “Black Women Must Stop Mating With Mr. Big” recently, I knew that it was likely to create something of a stir within the Black Internet community, and to be sure, it did – particularly among Black Women themselves. But your presence among the dissenters was an added treat, indeed. In that you’ve made several rather lengthy comments in response to my article, and in that I’ve yet to respond in kind, please accept this special posting as my way of doing so, as an official “welcome” of sorts, and as well, as a kind of “rules of the road” as to the way we do things here at J4G.
Just Four Guys, as the name infers, is a “Manosphere” blog collective, founded by four Men on Jun 13, 2013. Our goal? To examine the the question, “What does it mean to be a Man, in early 21st century American life?”.
To do that, we have decided that it was necessary to provide American Men in our time with the information, tools and personal insights of the four of us, so that Men can lead the kinds of lives they desire for themselves. This, by necessity, and especially as far as yours truly is concerned, since I am the sole African American “founding father” of JFG, will venture into what many would consider contentious and/or controversial territory, as most if not all of my offerings are rooted in the themes of Race, Sex, Class and Politics, often in intersectional ways.
Hence some of the unofficial “ground rules” of J4G. I say “unofficial” because we do not have a dedicated page or the like where we specifically layout our commenting and participation policies and procedures; that may change in the future, perhaps with the posting of this open letter to you. But, given the sheer nature and volume of response to my recent “Mr. Big” post here and elsewhere on the Internet, I feel it is time that someone laid down said ground rules; and the way I was raised, the one who suggests something should also be the one who actually does it.
So, here’s how you (and anyone else) will participate in discourse at JFG:
1. Personal attacks of any kind, on anyone, by anyone, is prohibited. This includes wild-eyed speculation about the personal lives, or personal motivations, of anyone in the forum. “Attack the argument, not the person making the argument” is our credo here. If you will kindly refer to a recent comment made by a fellow J4G forum participant, one Mr. Too Cool To Fool, you will see that his comment has been edited for what we deem to be personal attacks made upon you, because in doing so, he has shown himself to be out of order – so if you’re of a mind that this is singling you out, you can be rest assured we are not. We want to cultivate a civil environment where informed debate, not incohate harangue, is the order of the day. To be sure, we welcome dissenting points of view – even argued vociferously – but we can and will draw the line at any hint of personal attacks.
Now, I know that where you come from, such ways of “Nigger Argumentation” is par for the course, and in your house(s), you are more than free to do just that; but we don’t do “Nigger” stuff here. We don’t engage in personal attacks, speculation about motives or personal lives, displays of abusive or otherwise coarse language and the like (more on this below). Here, we try to adhere to the time-honored rules of decorum and debate – I’m partial to Robert’s Rules of Order, myself – and those who do not will find themselves being dealt with.
2. While we respect everyone’s right to their opinion, and while we welcome everyone’s personal views on the issues we discuss here, we value even more, informed, educated, enlightened opinions. We feel this fosters a richer, more robust debate and exchange of ideas; Nigger Argumentation, I’ve found, tends to peddle in discussion of personalities, petty gossip, and aspersions about the character of others – hardly enlightening, or indeed even useful. Over the course of your two lengthy comments in response to my “Mr. Big” piece, you have been long on the “personality” side, and woefully short on the “ideas” side. If you wish to participate meaningfully here at JFG, it is required that you come to the table with a bit more rigor in your arguments. Especially when someone of your stature comes into the room, surely you can understand the need – and importance – to more properly represent – yes?
3. This leads me to the next point: Appeals to Assertion, or (Personal) Authority, do not sound arguments make. Again, over the course of your two lengthy comments in reply to my “Black Women/Mr. Big” post, you have not offered anything in the way of independently verifiable evidence that supports your contentions. No, Ms. Cooper, your mere “say so” is not good enough; the Black community suffers too much from such Nigger Argumentation as it is, and I have no wish or desire to see something I am involved with contribute to that Hot Mess. Evidence is needed to move the ball in discussion here. You have made a number of points in response to my essay, with nothing in the way to back them up. This must, and will, stop.
4. Finally, and since you (and other Black Ladies throughout the Black Internet) seem keen on attempting to divine the personal motivations of yours truly in writing my “Mr. Big” essay, I will be most happy to tell you: my reasoning for writing that, and the preceding “Black Men Must Stop Mating With Ratchets” commentary, was in response to what I see as an erosion of the Black Nation, tied directly to the mating practices of Black Americans, both male and female, in our time. In particular as it pertains to the “Mr. Big” issue, it is my argument that Black Women chasing down Mr. Big, can and has had ruinous effects and impacts on the Black community at large – and to that end, I was keen to layout some half a dozen, if not more, specific areas said effects can be seen- none of which, you, or anyone else, have yet to specifically address, let alone empirically refute. I have meticulously offered sources supporting my arguments in this regard; again, you, nor have any other dissenter, have not. My personal views, or reality, one way or another, has nothing to do with what I’ve argued; in truth, I could honestly care less what individual people choose to do with their lives, one way or another. But when it comes to the community in which I must live and exist, their mating behaviors have been shown to have a demonstrable, and corrosive, impact on said community – and the sheer scale of these mating behaviors, as noted in both posts, make this a cause of Black Public Concern.
I do not think it fair, moral or just, to say anything of even practical, that the Tyrones of the world must shoulder the burden of the mating choices of Black Women who must get a timeshare on Mr. Big – anymore than I think it fair or just, that Black Women shoulder the burden of Brothas who cannot seem to get enough of the “Twerkin’ At The Wal-Mart”-Ratchets, booty-claps and all. Both are being unfairly penalized in a plethora of unseemly ways, and it is destroying the Black Nation in the process – this is why I wrote both pieces – as both a lament of what we once were but have lost, and as a call to all right-thinking people, regardless of color, to begin to raise their own voices in response. In fact, I say that the good folks have been silent long enough – now it is time for them to be heard. My essays, indeed, my entire reason for being, is attuned to this purpose.
Imagine then, my profound disappointment that, despite two lengthy and well-meaning comments by you, neither even made an attempt to actually address anything I actually wrote(!). Moreover, by all accounts, you seemed to heap shoals of scorn onto Tyrone (even while being wholly ignorant of who Tyrone was), while saying little to nothing about the corrosive effects de facto polygamy have on (Black) communities – you seem to be cosigning the Black female fascination with Mr. Big. Fair enough, if that is your position, but in so doing please do not fool yourself, and please do not think I’m about to let you attempt to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes here that in your cosigning, you are endorsing a further erosion of the kind of Black America that I’ve come to know and love.
Yesterday evening, I had the special treat of attending the 100th birthday celebration of an African American gentleman in every sense of the word, who’s in full control of his faculties, put the “D” in “dapper” and can cut a rug with the best of them. More than 100 people turned out in the Philly “hawk” to listen to some great Jazz, eat great food, and listen to this gentleman and upwards of another dozen gentlemen and ladies aged 90 and over (among them a couple who’d been married for 70 years!), talk about the great sweep of history over the course of their lives. And while I listened, I couldn’t help doing a “compare and contrast” of Black American life “then” and “now” , to an earlier vignette on the same day where I was taking care of some personal business and had to wait in line to be seen; while doing so, I was a captive audience to a conversation obtaining between two Black Ratchet Women - one of whom was keen to point out that she had nearly half a dozen kids by as many daddies, one of whom she just birthed by yet another daddy, while also having a grandchild, who itself is still an infant(!).
Compare and contrast, indeed.
Black people back then, had more dignity, more respect for themselves and each other, just more “grit”, than we ever did in our time now – this, in a time of abject poverty (the Great Depression), and when Black folks from the doctor to the dog catcher, was treated like second-class citizens – and Black folk today act more a Fool today – this in a time of unprecedented freedom and largesse not seen anywhere at any time on the planet. It made me wonder, who’s really free…and who really is not…us, or them?
My, how far we have fallen - and that, is why I wrote what I did.
Ms. Cooper (and everyone else reading this wherever you are on the planet), you are more than welcome to participate here, in part because, while I do have some serious areas of contention with much of your writings, I nevertheless respect your pluck.
How Would The Male “Pill” Change Things?
Who’s To Blame For Men’s Bad Dating Advice?
Do Not Adjust Your Set: Seeing Reality In A Feminism-Saturated World
Is "Alpha Fux, Beta Bux" Real? Evidence, Anecdotes, And The Question Of Female Mating Strategies
What Blue Pill Betas Have in Common With The Red : Understanding The Average Man's Contradictions
Women Are More Picky: The Science Behind Female Selectivity In Dating
The "Just Treat Women As People" Mating Strategy: What's Really Missing
LANE CHANGING. IS IT REAL? WHY DO PEOPLE CHANGE LANES?
Red Pill Russia: Hypergamy And Polygynous Cads Unleashed In The Early Soviet Union
icons at the top
right corner of the subsection.